read a post about the need to stop blaming your parents; to grow up and get your shit together.
hah. up to a point, perhaps.
somewhere, people live in the bliss of overgeneralising things like functional parents and functional families. you just envy these people for this kind of surreal bliss that you cannot afford and can't even begin to understand.
sometimes, watching how friends who are parents behave, you wonder how their behaviour will impact their children; how, with every single photo taken and exhibited online, or every mistake and stupid decision, they are already shaping their children's future lives, decisions, disappointments, depression, desire, psychological trauma, illness.
how do you release responsibility even when your child is an adult, especially when you know that whatever difficulty they are facing has its roots in what you did when they were small? how do you live with guilt, if it's yours? do you keep helping them, do you keep compensating?
children, even more so than diamonds, are forever.
why aren't some people taking better care of them?
p/s: so euphoric that i need a second heart to handle this manic phase.